Dear Stranger

I’m glad you don’t know this blog exists.

Dear stranger,

I’m guilty.
I’m guilty of my not-so-subtle side glances.
I’m guilty of roaming the hallways twice and expecting unachievable romances.
I’m guilty that you crossed my mind once and never left.
I’m guilty that I fear losing you, someone I never had, and being bereft.
I’m guilty of the film of scenarios I play on the projector of my eyes during the daybreak & the dullest of nights.
I’m guilty that my only reaction to seeing you is a sigh while every part of me that wants to grab you, fights.

So I desperately need you to know how obsessed I am with you,
How seeing you is the only thing I look forward to.
How I practice eyeing you discreetly when I’m all alone,
How I wish with everything in my power that feelings for me in your mind have also possibly grown.

No. No. No!
I berate my mind.
It’s unrealistic.
It is not worth it.
Ugh. Why did I have to be a hopeless romantic?

The society tells me to follow the “right way”,
Pop culture tells me to “cease the day”.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that
The probabilities of “us” is minimal
Yet I can’t seem to let go of you.
I guess you’ll reside as a hostage for a while in my mind,
Till I finally find the courage to heavily sigh and move on just like I always do.