Not Ready to Let Go

It’s sad how people claim to love and care about you and yet still replace you so quickly.

This is where we met,
The first time we locked eyes, was under that sunset.

You wore the same maroon sweater which you are wearing today,
You started to smoke and then stopped when I looked at you “that way”.

That day you promised to never break my heart and I promised to never break yours,
Yet now you’re here blindsiding me and forming something that can’t easily be cured.

You looked down and reached for your cigarette but stopped and sighed,
“I think we should break up”, suddenly my tears became too hard to hide.

Now you’re biding my time by knitting a lie brimmed thread,
Yet all I hear is the sound of a pulse, that’s on the verge of being dead.

You said you’re sorry and walked away,
I still sat there, crying and wishing that you would stay.

Three months have passed now, But I still see myself, visiting that sunset time and again,
And today I see you playing with someone else’s pain.

This is where we met,
This is where we broke up…and only one of us wept.

The Sinking Dawn

The dawn is not distant, nor is the night starless; love is eternal….Just not mine.

We had our differences, we had our fights,
The old beauty led to tears during nights.

Our promises are scarce like our love is bare,
Now in the blankness of your eyes, I timidly stare.

Our love couldn’t last long,
Our rage couldn’t stay put,
Our bond couldn’t stay strong,
Our fondness walked away afoot.

It was my time to decide whether to suppress or go,
I chose the latter making yet another foe.

The ride was sorrowful filled with tears,
Suddenly the nostalgia bought haziness of our years.

It was too soon to decide what lay ahead,
I guess I should’ve remembered what love could get.

But over it is and all is gone,
Now I look forward to that breaking dawn…

The Estrangement Canvass

Things fall apart and illusions fade…just like our love did

Can you hold my hand for the last time,
A stroke on the cheek will be so sublime.

Our differences we’ve shared,
Yet now, in our goodbyes we stare.

I wish it could’ve been a different way,
But I still mean all that I say.

You know, it just wasn’t right,
Ending each day with yet another petty fight.

Steps we’d taken together were the same,
Then how does it turn to be me that you blame.

It’s been a hell of a ride which was bound to end,
Still I did cherish the time we’d spent.

Though now looking at you with someone else I question myself with a sigh,
Was it right to end everything with a goodbye?

The Blame Requited

Blame game is the safest escape route to hide the actual story.

Priya Rani

It’s the invalidity of a change in me,

In the blank sky my eyes see.

The blood rushes in my mind,

The extremity makes me blind.

The anger floods and grows,

My blinding rage never slows.

A deep breath can’t help, there are a million fragments in my head,

So I never blame me, in my mind your name is said.

It’s my words not your lines,

It’s my world that you incline.

My heaven now becomes my hell,

As your lies become mine to tell.

My heart suddenly skips a beat,

The feelings in my head take a seat.

A realisation blossoming I begin to see,

Shattering a glass…the blame is on me.

On My Way…

“Being oblivious is a choice, being in denial is the result.”

 

Slowly I rise from the darkness I was engulfed in,

It pulled me with all the forces of your sin.

It was rough to pull from the chains of monstrosity,

I pulled myself together after the trauma that you gave me.

I screamed, I shouted, I yelled at you,

In a crowd, but no one seem to hear neither did they knew.

It digs a pit in my stomach making me feel so blue,

The burn I was feeling inside, the pain wasn’t new.

You gave me those eyes flooded with accusations,

The guilt in my heart also has a limitation.

It isn’t me, I’m not guilty,

Don’t bound me just let me scream.

When I met you a flame lit in my heart,

Now you blew it tearing my soul apart.

I was looking for my oblivion in your oblivious silhouette,

It was a mistake and now I realise to what it led….

My Gratitude For Her….

” I love you…To the moon and back. ”

For my existence you are the reason,
In sadness in joy in every season.

A mother, a lover, a giver you are,
You’re my only shooting star.

You give me joy, You give me hope,
In god’s pace u help me cope.

My only bliss, my mom you are,
No matter where no matter how far.

Always you’ve been to dad the most loving wife,
You’ve been a pure soul all along ur life.

A beautiful person you are inside out,
In mine and god’s eyes there is no doubt.

I have a gratitude towards you I can’t express,
You’ve given me a gift of your immortality I guess……

 

The Sin we all Commit

“The most unnoticed thing is the most noticeable”

When we walk around this universe, we observe the wellbeing of nature, the creativity of styles and the expression of guilt. What we don’t observe is the stuff that lies underneath all that aura. We are freakishly oblivious of the fact that the other person has a darkness inside of them that the just aren’t able to express. Others obliviousness leads the person into a mountain of confusion about how can they ever expire this pain of never being able to express themselves to others. They rise every morning to the heart stab of disappointment that today also know one will notice their pain. They stroll around feeling that they don’t deserve what the have or maybe someone will finally truly come to their senses and explain to them that they deserve everything….and even more. A fragment of imagination or a phantom ghosts for example are the only uncommunicable source that apprehend what I mean……We all are criminals….Criminals of a sin that is way past our wild understanding……..More than criminals or prodigies we are ignorants……

My Demons

The cycle of decision is a monster that calls,
I just want to hide behind these four walls.

The promises to make and the promises to keep,
hurts me bad, like I’m burning down deep.

I feel the float, I feel the ache,
I feel the sadness when my joy they take.

I feel like the ocean dried up by the sinful sun,
I feel like a victim trapped at the point of a gun.

Is my choice heaven or hell?
Can someone hear me please can you tell.

I unveil that I’m OK even when I’m not,
I console myself that I will be even when my darkness and I haven’t fought.

I know, you know that after an instant this ain’t gonna matter,
But only I know that if I fail myself,
My whole soul will scatter.

The chambers of my heart have not yet been unlocked,
And they wanna burst open every time that I have been mocked.

The monster of decision will always keep calling me,
But how I will react,
You’ll just have to wait and see….

 

Self Doubt…

” The worst enemy of creativity is self doubt.”

We all have an enemy named self doubt inside us. No matter how hard we try to appreciate ourselves and forget our insecurities, we will judge and doubt our opinion about ourselves. I personally am a victim of it. I feel like a host who has been attacked and captured by this parasite. Every single time I have tried to believe in myself I feel an urge to recheck it and get others opinion instead of just going with mine. Whenever someone compliments me about my skills, I ask “Are sure it is ME you’re talking about?!”

That’s what I’m about. Living with self doubt is like giving up on yourself and following everyone else because you think you are wrong. You have opinions and answers but you are just too scared that they will be wrong and people will judge you.

I know that it’s hard to live like this and you may think that it is easy for me to say this but actually I know what and how it feels like. Self doubts don’t go away easily but what I  can tell you to do is to believe in yourself because even if it’s right or wrong it is your opinion. Trust Yourself, Trust God.

 

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