Extinguished

…or at least to the person I thought you were”

(Part 2)

I’m patient.
Oh, I completely understand.
I’m at your convenience. You need a helping hand?
You’re busy? That’s fine, what I wanted to say isn’t that dire.

But I do have a confession.
I’m also a liar.

My tapping foot was anxious when you didn’t text back or never called,
Does that define my patience? No? Huh, then I guess I’m at fault.

No I wasn’t fine when you cancelled the dinner plans or when you were too busy to say hi,
But if I would’ve opened up to you would you have understood or simply asked why I lie?

Would you’ve thought of me as desperate when I’d say I wish to be close to you?
Or would you’ve pulled me close just like I’d want you to.

I wanted to be the reason for your absent minded smiles,
I wanted to be the foundation to lay your love’s tiles.

I wanted you to miss me when I turned around,
When I was with you, I wanted you to be my safe and sound.

But it’s been months since our forest set on fire,
Even it’s ashes are dried now, then tell me why these feelings I still desire?

I guess our lost love turned into my poetic art,
But will it make the world more vulnerable to my still aching heart?

Do you know sometimes I replay the moment in my head of our fights?
I wonder what you would’ve felt if you could’ve see me cry throughout the nights.

Can I forgive you? Will I forget you?
Now I’m numb when I recall you saying ‘I love you too’.

I guess that’s all in the past now. Shhhh it’s okay,
But just for a few minutes, on this ashen bed of what we were…I’ll lay.


This is the second part to my previous post Spark at Eve.

Also this is my first attempt at Slam Poetry (or something kinda like it). Do let me know if you think it’s good !


Spark at Eve

“I held on to you so tight…

(Part 1)

I gaze sideways at the curtain because there’s just too much to say,
I anchor my words, my thoughts…as I wait for something you to convey.

There is an urgency in this comfort, something my tapping foot awaits,
Yet, that time, the shadows of hope seemed to fade out the gate.

My graphite scribbled intents are erased by your goodbye,
I put a smile on, say the same and nod my head with a sigh.

The 2:00 am disconnects are brutal yet so is when you say “good night”,
Things frustrate me, they confuse me
But god ! Talking to feels just so right.

In many ways than one, you evoked feelings I never thought I deserved,
Believe me when I say laughs along with tears were served.

Yet here I am, staring into your hazel eyes thinking if I can ever escape,
My soul feels unencumbered. I’m lost…in your surreal gape.

Then comes those times when my tresses crave your stroke,
While the hopes of that are futile and that of I’m aware,
Just…sorry I am for those sleepless nights when all I wished was for you to be there.

Then came that lingering moment when the freeze cloaked my clock,
That night, those words slipped out as my heart lost the key to its lock.

I’m smirking as I write these words, rolling my eyes cause these circumstances I don’t believe!
I guess all I’m trying to say is ‘I love you’ and baby…that wraps my New Year’s Eve.


I had earlier posted this as a submission for a poetry contest but as I am posting it’s second part Extinguished so just thought of adding this here too.


Falling


Sudden Scribbles #5


“They call it ‘falling in love’ because whenever you fall you are bound to get hurt”

The Coffee Cup

I wake up at 2 am only to the smell of coffee reminding me of you

Standing in the coffee shop queue every morning,
I gaze at you with a smirk on face and my heart yearning.

I bite my lip and stare at my shoes as I see you smile,
Then I hear the ding of the shop’s door and leave my fantasy world for a while.

The morning of my birthday gifted me with butterflies as I expectantly came,
You weren’t there and the pit in stomach formed a maim.

I left the store at the verge of tears as I bumped into you running outside,
You spilled coffee on my birthday suit yet I stood their with a smile too wide.

You apologised too much and I forgave too quick,
Is it controversial that this birthday is my favourite pick ?

I left for my home town for a few days but the coffee there didn’t taste as good,
I’d rather spend these cold mornings there if I could.

I returned soon only to see your yearning eyes,
I asked for my coffee and forced my grin to disguise.

I left with the ringing of the coffee shop door as I came across a writing on my cup,
“Is 8 ok for me to pick you up?”

New-Year Writing Contest

This cozy afternoon I decided to take part in this contest. This is being hosted by Srishti at The Srishti Blog ! Do check out her posts. They are wonderful and inspirational !

Rules:

  • Thank the person who nominated you/who’s blog you find this onI found this on Akshita’s blog at Anthology of Akshita’s Thoughts !
  • If you have a blog, list down the rules in a post, if not, contact/email the creator (contact page).
  • Add the logo of this post that is:
  • Last date for submission is 20th January 2022, winners will be announced on 24th January 2022.
  • Link back to the original post and the post of the one who nominated you.
  • Word limit ranges to 1000 words.
  • Inappropriate content shall be disqualified.
  • You can submit only one entry. 
  • Nominate at least 5 people to participate in this contest.

My Submission

Love On New Year’s Eve

I gaze sideways at the curtain because there’s just too much to say,
I anchor my words, my thoughts…as I wait for something you to convey. 

There is an urgency in this comfort, something my tapping foot awaits,
Yet, that time, the shadows of hope seemed to fade out the gate. 

My graphite scribbled intents are erased by your good bye,
I put a smile on, say the same and nod my head with a sigh. 

The 2:00 am disconnects are brutal yet so is when you say “good night”,
Things frustrate me, they confuse me
But god ! Talking to feels just so right. 

In many ways than one, you evoked feelings I never thought I deserved,
Believe me when I say laughs along with tears we’re served. 

Yet here I am, staring into your hazel eyes thinking if I can ever escape,
My soul feels unencumbered. I’m lost…in your surreal gape. 

Then comes those times where my tresses crave your stroke
While the hopes of that are futile and that of I’m aware
Just…sorry I am for those sleepless nights when all I wished was for you to be there. 

Then came that lingering moment when the freeze cloaked my clock
 (time stopped)
That night, those words slipped out as my heart lost the key to its lock. 

I’m smirking as I write these words, rolling my eyes cause these circumstances I don’t believe !
I guess all I’m trying to say is ‘I love you’ and baby...that wraps my New Year’s Eve.

Nominees

Here are a few bloggers I would like to nominate-

Thank you and Good Luck !

A Dark Mist

This is a collaborative post with Ishita at Thoughts Resonate. Her poems and posts are amazing and the way she can express her thoughts in such few words is just flawless! Please check out her posts and I promise you would be impressed beyond words! She and I wrote this poem together and her ideas were awesome! I hope we can do this more often as it was a lot of fun!!

You can find our previous collab post here


A Dark Mist

The cold floor feels comforting,
as the numbness caresses me slowly.
Sinking into my chambers of distress,
My fragile arms engulf me and me only.

In the darkness of the night,
the silence echoes in my ears.
I’m guided by the wind,
guided deeper into my fears.

Every single day, the mirror questions me.
I wish to wander where my solace lies,
I wish to forgo the constant anathema,
but I feel deluded by my unholy cries.

In the darkness of the night,
My thoughts obscure my reality.
Gasping for breath in the toxic air,
My grave lies beneath this calamity.

The cold floor is still comforting,
as the numbness caresses me slowly.
To put an end to these tribulations,
I surrender myself into this melancholy…

-Tanvi Kamra & Ishita Gupta

A Collab Post!

This is a collaborative post with Ishita at Thoughts Resonate. Her poems and posts are amazing and the way she can express her thoughts in such few words is just flawless! Please check out her posts and I promise you would be impressed beyond words!

She and I wrote this poem together and her ideas were awesome! I hope we can do this more often as it was a lot of fun!!


I Wish I Was A Kid Again

I wish I was a naive little kid again.

Unaware of the dirt lying within this world full of school rhymes,
Unaware of the scorns inside these people’s minds.

I wish I was a carefree, joyful kid again.

I won’t have to wake up to my nail marks crucifying the pillow,
From the stressful nightmares of tomorrow.

I wish I was that estranged kid again.

Unaware of the words insecurity, guilt or regret.
Unaware of the torture; now I wish to forget.

I wish I was that colourful kid again.

Always jumping towards the colour of rainbow and never pertaining towards black.
Always laughing merrily with friends and never thinking they would turn their back.

Tell me if I’m wrong,
But don’t you wish to be a kid again?
Away from all the disappointment,
feeling like you’re living in vain.

Tell me if I’m wrong,
But don’t you wish to be a kid again?
To enjoy life as you once did,
When insane and sane were the same.

I wish I was that kid again…..

Tanvi Kamra & Ishita Gupta

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